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Make America Great Again: On President Donald Trump's Military Parade

by Chris Chichester on 02/09/18


To: President Donald Trump 

From: Dr. Strangelove 

RE Your Military Parade Proposal 

Mein Führer! A parade for our military men and women is how a commander-in-chief honors a commander-in-chief. Your moral authority is unquestioned as proven by a 1968 medical deferment from the Vietnam War for bone spurs. No human being must endure the excruciating tiny pointed outgrowth you experienced. 

From The Mayo Clinic: 

"Bone Spurs are bony projections that develop along the edges of bones. Bone spurs (osteophytes) often form where bones meet each other -- in your joints. They can also form on the bones of your spine. 

"The main cause of bone spurs is the joint damage associated with osteoarthritis. Most bone spurs cause no symptoms and may go undetected for years. They may not require treatment. Decisions on treatment depend on where spurs are situated and how they affect your health." 

Total casualties in The Vietnam War: 58,220. I recommend a visit to The Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. to pay your respects. In your favorite Dr. Scholl's Custom Fit Orthotics and Dr. Scholl's Comfort & Energy Massaging Gel Insoles. Before wearing the orthotics I encourage you to wash your hands by the usual 12th time before noon given the infestation of germs upon this product. 

Mein Führer! I caution you about the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water? Water fluoridation is a conspiracy perpetrated by communists. As your ex-officio national security adviser I encourage you to drink Poland Spring. This beverage must not influence you to consider an invasion of Poland. 

A parade requires balloons. The recommendations from the Greater German Reichstag: Snoopy, Ronald McDonald and Big Bird. I recommend Snoopy. Big Bird is a Marxist dupe representation of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Ronald McDonald is, obviously, a homosexual. 

Mein Führer! I involuntarily Sieg Heil and it reshapes my clavicle and scapula. This alien hand syndrome is treated with Trump Vodka. In promoting the failed product you, a teetotalist, told Larry King: "A great friend of mine was a founder of Grey Goose. And what we're going to do is top it." 

As the official headgear for the parade I recommend your red MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN crash helmet. Miss Universe Eva Braun wears it in the Führerbunker. She is ravishing in its splendor.  She is the only woman in the history of civilization capable of a suicide attempt due to a lack of affection from Mein Führer.

On April 18, 1939 I participated in the nauseating extravaganza that included 50 limousines driven across Berlin to mark the 50th birthday of my favorite Austro-Hungarian. Joseph Goebbels wrote in his diary: 

"The Führer is feted like no other mortal has ever been."

No other mortal defaulted on a $245 million loan for Trump Airlines.  No other mortal refused to pay a Trump Mortgage employee a $298,274 judgement. No other mortal discontinued Trump Steaks after two months.  No other mortal disgracefully manipulated the bankruptcy laws six times. No other mortal is fined $200,000 by the New Jersey Casino Control Commission for empowering a John Gotti associate at a craps table.  No other mortal owned the New Jersey Generals of the United States Football League. No other mortal shaved Vince McMahon's head in a ring.  No other mortal is featured on the cover of the New York Post with a mistress praising a skill set as the  "best sex I've ever had." 

Mein Führer!  I note the following presidential language from you.  

On Cher: 

"I promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn't work."

On harmonious race relations:

"I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks."

On racial and religious Generally Accepted Accounting Principles: 

"I have black guys counting my money . . . I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes all day."

On international relations:

"Who the fuck knows? I mean, really, who knows how much the Japs will pay for Manhattan property these days."

On the asymmetry of the Hispanic vote:

"I'm leading in the Hispanic vote, and I'm going to win the Hispanic vote.  I'm also leading in the regular vote."

On oscillating the unmentionables: 

"Oftentimes when I was sleeping with one of the top women in the world I would say to myself, thinking about me as a boy from Queens, 'can you believe what I am getting.'"

On the mathematics of a female employee:

"She's not giving me 100%. She's giving me 84 percent, and 16 percent is going towards taking care of children."

On the harmonious end of a marriage: 

"When a man leaves a woman especially when it was perceived that he has left for a piece of ass -- a good one! -- there are 50 percent of the population who will love the woman who was left."

On a more desirable piece of ass:

"You know, it really doesn't matter what they write as long as you've got a young a beautiful piece of ass."

On construction, demolition and the absence of schools in Brooklyn:

"We build a school, we build a road, they blow up the school, we build another school, we build another road they blow them up, we build again. In the meantime we can't get a fucking school in Brooklyn."

Mein Führer! My handsome, charming friend Chris Chichester of Penfield New York is a veteran: 2nd Squadron 17th Cavalry, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Ft. Campbell, Kentucky. His Commander-in-Chief: Ronald Reagan. He is grateful President Reagan did not order the 101st to Washington, D.C. for a circus on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. 

The model for your military parade is the 2018 Tournament of Roses Parade. It featured 44 floats, 20 equestrian units with approximately 400 horses, 21 marching bands and Jack in the Box's Jack-O-Licious float [your favorite float].  The 1994 Grand Marshall is Juan "Chi-Chi" Rodriguez.  Per your executive order agents from Immigration and Customs Enforcement deported Mr. Rodriguez.

Mein Führer! On May 9, 2010 Russia held a parade with 10,000 soldiers, 160 military vehicles and 127 military aircraft. They're such children. Your parade is a revolutionary extravaganza that will allow our 323 million citizens to escape from American Carnage for one day. 

Reichsführer of the Schutzstaffel Heinrich Himmler is responsible for security and murders along the parade route.  He remains captivated by the deployment of your intellect, adultery and political pornography.  It is an astonishing achievement despite the fact that you fail to project the required blue eyes and blonde hair of the Master Race.

Freedom Lies In Being Bold -- Robert Frost

Tranquility Base: An Interview With Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie

by Chris Chichester on 02/04/18

Chris Chichester: Speaker Carl Heastie thank you for joining me today as you continue to lead our Assembly in Albany.  On July 11, 2017 The Mercatus Center at George Mason University released a report that asserted: "On the basis of its fiscal solvency in five separate categories, New York is ranked 39th among the U.S. states for its fiscal health." What legislation will you propose to reverse this crisis? 

Speaker Carl Heastie:

Chichester:  Mr. Speaker according to "Meet Carl Heastie, New York's New Assembly Speaker" in New York by Margaret Hartmann on February 3, 2015:  "The manner of Heastie's selection isn't the only thing that rankled those hoping for change in Albany. Heastie, a 47-year-old former budget analyst for the New York City Comptroller's Office, was first elected in 2000, and his legislative record is thin." Is this description accurate?


Chichester: In 2015 you hired Jane Feldman from Colorado to lead the Assembly Office of Ethics and Compliance.  You deposited her in a windowless 9th floor cubicle in the Legislative Office Building. In 2017 she quit and described the position as "a waste of money" and "a p.r. move."  Why do you possess such contempt for establishing a standard of ethical accountability for your Members?


Chichester: Mr. Speaker on January 16, 2018 Assemblyman Charles Barron [D--Black Panther Party] stood and shouted at the governor during his speech announcing the $168 billion state budget. He said: Tax the millionaires! This is not the first time he has engaged in disgusting behavior. From Newsday in 2016:


By David M. Schwartz
Updated January 13, 2016 9:07 PM

A New York City Assemblyman interrupted Gov. Andrew Cuomo's State of the State message Wednesday and was escorted out as he berated the governor about poverty.

Assb. Charles Barron (D-Brooklyn) stepped into the aisle in front of Cuomo as the governor listed the state's accomplishments at the start of the speech at the Empire State Plaza Convention Center.

"You're wrong! You're wrong!" Barron said, challenging the governor on urban school funding. 

Why did you fail to control the lunatic fringe in your conference as represented by Assemblyman Barron? Again.  


Chichester: According to "Heastie On Switch To Payroll Tax: Would Be Wrong Not To Try" in the Times Union by Matthew Hamilton on January 16, 2018 you said "we need to explore" a new tax structure.  Does it require New Yorkers to EXPLORE THE SPACE with THE Bruce Dickinson? 


Chichester: Your official Assembly site includes a link for press releases.  You have a grand total of: two. That number is spelled: t-w-o.  As the Speaker why do you refuse to detail a legislative agenda? Or explain your policy positions? Or respond to news events? Or engage the people of New York?


Chichester: According to "Bronx Named Unhealthiest County For Seventh Time In A Row" in the Daily News by Jacqueline Cutler on March 17, 2016:

"For the seventh consecutive year Bronx County came in 62nd among all New York counties, branding the area as the most unhealthy.  The Bronx ranked at the bottom for quality of life, which included poor physical and mental health and low birthweight, and in health factors, such as smoking, obesity and physical activity." 

You are first elected to represent the Bronx in 2000. How do you respond to this pathetic quality of life?


Chichester: More from the Daily News about your Bronx: 

"The rate of childhood poverty in the Bronx is 43%, which is nearly double the statewide average. High school graduation rate is 56%, where its 77% statewide and unemployment is 9.8%, compared to 6.3% statewide, all factors that led to it being last in statewide stats."

What is your reaction to these appalling numbers?


Chichester: According to "Best And Worst States For Taxes In 2016" in Forbes New York is ranked: 50th. It cites our 12.7% state-and-local tax burden and 5.8% effective state tax rate on $50,000. What are you doing to relieve this obscene burden?


Chichester: New York is absent from "The Ten Best States For Future Job Growth" in Forbes on November 16, 2016.  Why?


Chichester:  According to "The 20 Worst States For Finding A Job" at CNBC by Emmie Martin on June 25, 2017 New York is ranked: 19.  Why is New York consistently a spectacle, a mediocrity, a laughingstock in job creation rankings?


Chichester: Is it true that love means never having to say your sorry?


Chichester: If Kitty Dukakis were raped and murdered would you favor an irrevocable death penalty for the killer?


Chichester: In an isolated incident The New York Times quoted three consecutive sentences from you. You said: "I think to close out this discussion, I think it would be better to put into perspective what we are talking about. I had a discussion with our daughter Amy the other day before I came here to ask her what the most important issue was.  She said she thought it was nuclear weaponry, and the control of nuclear arms." Is that language accurate? 


Chichester: You are a graduate of the State University of New York at Stony Brook.   It is the alma mater of handsome, charming Chris Chichester. How did you achieve graduation wallowing in silence for four years?


Chichester: As the legislative session unfolds during the next five months how do you identify the issues that will 1) prevent New Yorkers from leaving the state for superior employment opportunities and 2) retiring to a state with lower taxes?


Chichester:  You swore a constitutional oath to faithfully discharge the duties of your office. Can you describe your policy agenda for the 2018 legislative session? 


Chichester: I'm a botanist at Acidalia Planitia on Mars with Astronaut Mark Watney.  What advice do you provide to high school students visiting your office about the splendor of New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx? 


Chichester: Is living in solitude on Mars a life you aspire to given how you conduct yourself in Boo Radley silence as speaker of the New York Assembly? 

Heastie: No. 

Chichester:  You're unusually talkative and demonstrative today, Mr. Speaker. I commend your Lincolnesque powers of communication.  What is the reason for engaging the people of New York with this harmonious cadence from your star chamber in Albany?



Freedom Lies In Being Bold -- Robert Frost

Lost In Yonkers: On Andrea Stewart-Cousins

by Chris Chichester on 01/25/18

Incompetence infects our state legislature in Albany.  It is a predictable and appalling fact I first witnessed in September, 1991.  As a graduate student at the State University of New York at Albany I began a 10-month fellowship in the Capitol press office for Senate Majority Leader Ralph J. Marino.  The experience changed my life by eliminating the idealistic delusion that our elected officials are dedicated to a standard of excellence.  

Senate Democratic Conference Leader Andrea Stewart-Cousins is elected in 2006. Her 10+ years in Albany is preceded by ten years as a Westchester County legislator and four years as the director of community affairs for Yonkers. In fact, she last worked in a position that did not bestow a taxpayer-subsidized paycheck for governmental stupor at New York Telephone. When Mario M. Cuomo is governor. Her life in disconnected from the free market and entrepreneurial economy.

From her official biography: 

"Since the very beginning of her tenure in government, Andrea Stewart-Cousins has espoused the values of empathy, empowerment and civic engagement." 

What a joke. 

From Merriam-Webster

Definition of empathy

1: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner

I don't require you to vicariously experience my feelings and thoughts, Andrea. I'll call Steve Perry and ask him to put Journey back together if I require your empathy.  If you insist on empathy for any individual in our Empire State it must be directed at the imprisoned taxpayer.  Our state-and-local tax burden punishes investment, creativity, innovation and drives our citizens across the state line -- permanently. 

From "Senator Stewart-Cousins Joins NARAL Panel on Women's Empowerment" at her official site on January 19, 2018: 

"Every part of your life is governed by politics."

Wrong, Andrea. Every part of a life is not governed by politics.  Your life is an insular existence defined by constant Machiavellian calculation. Your life is fundraising, polling, franking, per-diem.  Your life is the pathetic appeasement of special-interest groups.  Your life is the constant quest for degenerate spending, insane tax increases and pork-barrel payola.  Your life is alien to 19+ million New Yorkers separated from the capital compulsion to decipher thinking in the offices/saunas that comprise the Legislative Office Building.  

At this NARAL funeral I am confident Senator Stewart-Cousins failed to celebrate total abortions in New York from 2011 to 2015.  According to the Vital Records at the state Department of Health: 

2015: 86,627
2014: 93,299
2013: 94,326
2012: 97,502
2011: 102,678
Total: 474,432

During her everlasting time in public life Senator Stewart-Cousins has not addressed the appalling numbers that define this accumulation of extinction. She must champion abortion with the fanaticism expected by the misanthropic Left. By placing a gold-embossed sign outside Room 907 of the Legislative Office Building: 474,432.  To remind every visitor that death becomes her. 

From her opening remarks in the Senate chamber on January 8, 2018: 

"I stand here today wearing all black in solidarity with women everywhere. It is Hollywood . . . "

Hollywood is certainly a city that reflects the same values as Yonkers. Senator Stewart-Cousins must invite Meryl Streep to Philipse Manor Hall State Historic Site for a news conference about oppression and objectification. Perhaps Eliot Spitzer is available to join her in black with his favorite scythe. 

Senator Stewart-Cousins is delusional given the male state legislators/gigolos alongside her.  She failed to specifically condemn constant, disgusting behavior in the offices she knows best.  Every day in Albany she receives a reminder of predatory behavior in the form of her colleagues. It is a silence that demands a retirement announcement. 

More from Senator Stewart-Cousins during her opening remarks as she identifies with the plight of the blue-collar New Yorker: 

"Last year I had the opportunity to work with Saru Jayaraman, the founder and President of the Restaurant Opportunity Center United, as we drafted our tip workers bills. She was even at the Golden Globes last night as a guest of Amy Poehler."

Ms. Poehler, formerly of Saturday Night Live, is the perfect individual to demonstrate how the Yonkers senator immerses herself in buffoonery, irrelevancy and condescension.  If I require an enhanced understanding of life from Ms. Poehler I'll watch her performance in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo as Ruth displaying Tourette Syndrome with Coprolalia.

Senator Stewart-Cousins: 

"We must take guns from domestic abusers, require gun dealers to sell only child-proof weapons .  . . "

I live in George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four because Senator Stewart-Cousins commandeered an introduction to the child-proof weapon.  Does such a gun not fire bullets? Is it missing a trigger? Is the firing pin block damaged? Does the extractor malfunction?  I'll child-proof my Glock-17 to enhance the eternal sunshine of your spotless mind, Andrea.  By keeping it locked away from the outstretched hands of children. 

While Senator Stewart-Cousins is fascinated with Hollywood, Ms. Poehler and NARAL there is an organization in Yonkers that requires her attention: The Grimy Motherfuckers.  On December 10, 2014 United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet Bharara unsealed a superseding indictment charging 13 members of this street gang with racketeering, conspiracy and fire arms offenses.  Among other violent crimes. He said: 

"As alleged, this Yonkers-based street gang plagued the community of the Schlobohn Housing Project with drug dealing and lethal violence. With today's Indictment and arrests, we are another step closer to making the streets and citizens in this neighborhood safer."


"The 2012 arrests of the Strip Boyz left GMF the dominant gang in the area around the Schlobohn Housing Project, and GMF have continued to engage in acts of violence and intimidation to preserve their dominance of the Schlobohn Housing Projects and the surrounding areas that they previously shared with the Strip Boyz. In order to protect their territory and enhance the reputation of the gang, the GMF members have committed numerous acts of violence, including murder, attempted murders, stabbings and assaults. 

"The 10-count Superseding Indictment, United States vs. Da'Quan Johnson, et. al., charges DA'QUAN JOHNSON, JAMES JOHNSON, KENNETH MOORE, JAMEKE BROWN, DAQUAN COUCH, DARIN FIELDS, ANTHONY FORD, FLOYD GRAHAM, CHRISTOPHER GREBINGER, RONNIE KING, GERALD MARTIN, JAMES McCALLUM and WILBUR RANDOLPH with conspiring to violate the RICO statue and with using, carrying, possessing and discharging firearms during and in relation to their participation in the conspiracy."

The Google search for "Andrea Stewart-Cousins + Grimy Motherfuckers" is: Your Search Did Not Match Any News Results.  This gang is a disgusting presence in her hometown and there is nothing available online to reflect a syllable of concern.  She is indifferent to the vile reality in this city of 195,976.

You, Andrea, must assist the Strip Boyz with punctuation and grammar. B-o-y-z. Why can't these gang members spell? It is shocking.  The other gangs marauding your city streets are the Cliff Street Gangsters and the Elm Street Wolves.  I am disappointed the Sharks and the Jets are not cited in the indictment. Perhaps if George Chakiris danced for these sociopaths the quality of life will improve in Yonkers. 

The ineptitude afflicting Senator Stewart-Cousins fails to draw the attention of Governor Andrew "The Situation" Cuomo.  Our 56th governor must work productively with the Senate Democratic Conference Leader to implement a legislative agenda. It is a cruel fantasy. Given the bankrupt confessions on her official site the leadership required to reverse our long, slow decline into oblivion is an impossibility. 

Empire State, R.I.P.


Freedom Lies In Being Bold -- Robert Frost

On The Destruction Of Innocence

by Chris Chichester on 01/22/18

"Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love but to use any violence to get what they want.  This is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion." -- Mother Teresa of Calcutta, National Prayer Breakfast, February 5, 1994

The innocent child lives in the womb today as a target for a fanatical ideology divorced from compassion, inspiration and love.  For forty-five years an expectant mother has the legal option for extermination because it is 18 years of commitment.  It is 18 years of devotion.  It is 18 years of challenges. It is 18 years of concern.  It is 18 years conveniently abolished with a visit to an abortionist equipped with a cervical dilator. 

The abortionist is empowered within range of every newly pregnant woman since the January 22, 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision in Roe v. Wade. The total abortions since that day: 58,586,256.  It is an obscene number rendered obsolete an hour from now.  As women with a plan to evade parenthood are now en route to a clinic defined by barbarism, greed and selfishness. 

From Planned Parenthood:

What happens during an in-clinic abortion?

You'll go to a health-care center for counseling, an exam, and the abortion. The abortion itself usually takes 5-10 minutes, and you'll get medicine to help with any pain. 


You'll probably have some bleeding or cramping after your abortion.

Bleeding or cramping is expected after a heart ceases to beat from the violent intrusion of a metal instrument.  Every woman entering an abortion clinic possesses two beating hearts.   After five-to-ten minutes there is a confirmed kill and she leaves with one beating heart.  The evidence is ultrasound. 

From "Planned Parenthood Admits: Abortion Stops a Beating Heart" in The Weekly Standard by Jeryl Bier on January 16, 2015: 

"According to Planned Parenthood's own description of fetal development, an unborn child's heartbeat begins around two to three weeks after egg fertilization or weeks five and six of the pregnancy [highlight added]."

The highlight added: 

"A very basic beating heart and circulatory system develop."


"In later second-trimester procedures, you may also need a shot through your abdomen to make sure that the fetus's heart stops before the procedure begins."

How does a woman experiencing this injection through the abdomen fail to conclude its objective is the extermination of the child?  Is the nurse or doctor administering its finality bound by any moral principle that inspires a crisis of confidence?  How can an elected official promote such depravity as empowerment? 

From "March For Life Reminds Us That Attitudes On Abortion Are Changing -- One Beautiful Ultrasound At A Time" at Fox News by Lauren DeBellis Appell on January 19, 2018:

"A survey conducted by the National Institute of Family and Life Advocates (NIFLA), a network of pro-life pregnancy centers, reported confirming 75,318 pregnancies through ultrasound technology in 2013 on patients identified as either seriously considering an abortion or open to getting an abortion. Of those, 78 percent -- or 58,634 -- chose to carry their baby to term after seeing an ultrasound image of their child in the womb."

The facts fail to move the misanthropic Left dominated by feminists still living in 1919.  It is on display during the Women's March On Washington held January 21, 2015. Signs held by its poets laureate include: KEEP YOUR ROSARIES OFF MY OVARIES, FURY COMING OUT OF MY WHEREVER and VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA.  

The abortion-on-demand super state infects Washington, D.C. and state capitals. It is consumed by hate. Every American in this network of anarchists fails to comprehend the defining nihilism and hypocrisy. 

American Bridge 21st Century requires Americans. People for the American Way needs people.  Human Rights Campaign exists on behalf of humans.  The National Council of La Raza is for: The Race. Emily's List indentures Emily. The American Civil Liberties Union, Americans for Democratic Action and American Israel Public Affairs Committee champion American citizens who've successfully navigated the birth canal. 

Black Lives Matter if a heart continues to beat.  Occupy Wall Street is occupied if your mother declines a second-trimester abortion.   The National Organization for Women exists because 500,000 mothers embraced life. The American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees is 1.3 million members once attached to an umbilical cord.  NARAL Pro-Choice America is 1.2 million Grim Reaper activists formerly of the placenta. 

From "Women Who Suffered Emotionally From Abortion: A Qualitative Synthesis of Their Experiences" at the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons by Priscilla K. Coleman, Ph.D., Kaitlyn Boswell, Katrina Etzkorn and Rachel Turnwald for Winter, 2017: 

"Among the 987 respondents, 13% reported having visited a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor prior to the first pregnancy resulting in abortion, compared to 67.5% who sought such professional services after their first abortion."

Why? Why do 67.5% of women post-abortion require mental health services? The answer is never forthcoming from the abortion-on-demand leviathan and its enablers.  The denial of the truth is paramount. The truth is murder has consequences. 

According to the Vital Statistics at the state Department of Health the number of abortions in New York from 2011 to 2015: 

2011: 102,678
2012: 97,502
2013: 94,326
2014: 93,299
2015: 86,627

Total: 474,432

When you read this gruesome death toll you enjoy the fact that your mother decided to provide you with an introduction to humanity.  To the life that bestows your successes and failures and happiness and misery.  It is an imperfect life. But you have the freedom to animate and elevate it. 

In his 2013 State of the State Address the accumulation of abortion statistics at our 56th governor's state Department of Health is immaterial. Gov. Cuomo seeks to placate his malevolent base sans scythe:  "Enact a Reproductive Health Act because it is her body, it is her choice. It is her body, it is her choice. It is her body, it is her choice." This language is never entertained by Mario and Matilda Cuomo in the 12 months leading to December 6, 1957. 

On the revolting 45th anniversary of Roe v. Wade its cemetery in New York includes 474,432 abortions in a five-year period.  This cemetery is without headstones.  This cemetery is invisible.  This cemetery is unrivaled. In 2018 the killing of the innocent unborn child proceeds and it confirms the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. 

Freedom Lies In Being Bold -- Robert Frost

Twilight Of The Geriatrics In Albany

by Chris Chichester on 01/12/18

The career elected official affixed to a monarchical leather chair in the Assembly and Senate is a Capitol absolute.  These individuals prevail on Election Day for the first time infused with an obsession for power and perquisites.  A re-election defeat is rare.  Retirement is forced through death, sickness or criminality. Its ramification is the 30+ year decline of our Empire State.  

In 2016 state legislators in 23 New York City districts did not face a primary or general election opponent. Each understands the political calculations of former Louisiana Governor Edwin Edwards: "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."

The longest serving Member of the Senate is Kenneth P. LaValle. LaValle is elected in 1976.  He is 78. Senator William J. Larkin, Jr. is elected to the Assembly in 1979 and the Senate in 1990. He is 89.  Senator John J. Bonacic is elected to the Assembly in 1990 and the Senate in 1998. He is 75. Senator Neil D. Breslin is elected in 1996. He is 75. Senator Carl L. Marcellino is elected in 1995. He is 75. 

On June 5, 2017 Senator Larkin announced $50,0000 to honor Senator Larkin for the construction of the "William J. Larkin, Jr. Pavilion and Play Area" in Walden.  Walden Mayor Sue Rumbold praised "the generosity and depth of service of such a great man" in his news release.  The Great Man declared that he "was happy to play a small role" in the deliverance of this large pork-barrel from the imprisoned taxpayer. 

Senator Velmanette Mongomery is elected in 1984. She is 74. Senator Kemp Hannon is elected in 1989. He is 72.  Senator John A. DeFrancisco is elected in 1992. He is 71. Senator Martin Malave Dilan is elected in 2002. He is 67. Senator Martin J. Golden is elected in 2002. He is 67. 

Septuagenarian Montgomery in the Daily News on February 25, 2015: "When you're talking about a white community, it can be a little boutique, because white people don't eat the way we do." 

This woman is the lunatic fringe.  You, Velmanette, must continue the research for your boutique philosophy on racial disparities in dining.  For example: Did the Ku Klux Klan create low-price soda brands Tropical Fantasy, A-Treat and Top Pop to sterilize black men? For more on cross-burning beverages see "Rumor Almost Ruins Small Soda Firm" by Arlene Levinson of Associated Press on July 14, 1991. 

Senator Montgomery is notable for her disgraceful six-figure exploitation of the per-diem. From "Database: Per Diems Up For NY Lawmakers" by Joseph Spector at GANNETT on August 3, 2017:

"On the Senate side, Velmanette Montgomery, D-Brooklyn, had the most per-diem expenses since 2013 -- at $100,000, the records show."

The longest serving Member of the Assembly is 74-year-old Joseph R. Lentol.  He is elected in 1972. Assemblywoman Carmen E. Arroyo is 81. She is elected in 1994.  Assemblywoman Vivian E. Cook is 80. She is elected in 1990. Assemblyman William Magee is 78.  He is elected in 1990. Assemblywoman Earlene Hooper is 78. She is elected in 1988. Assemblywoman Sandy Galef is 77. She is elected in 1992. Assemblyman David F. Gantt is 76. He is elected in 1982.

Assemblyman Steve Englebright is 71. He is elected in 1992. Assemblyman Robin Schimminger is 70. He is elected in 1976. Assemblyman Peter J. Abbate, Jr. is 68. He is elected in 1986. Assemblyman Dov Hikind is 67. He is elected in 1982.  Assemblywoman Deborah Glick is 67. She is elected in 1990. Assemblywoman Helene E. Weinstein is 65. She is elected in 1980.  

If you are an institutional dinosaur in our Assembly it is a status that deserves a narcissistic celebration. Assemblywoman Catherine Nolan, a youngster at 59, promoted her candidacy for Speaker on January 28, 2015: 

"In my 30-year Assembly career I have conducted myself with honesty and integrity. Serving the people of New York state has been my only job -- whether it be my own constituents, school children or working men and women in our state. It will continue to be my only job."

This sanctimonious blockhead believes status divorced from private sector employment qualifies one for leadership in a state with 19.8 million. Nolan's 30-year racket in The Axis Of Albany is best examined in her news release archive.   She moonlights as an architect.  For plans to build a deck over the Long Island Rail Road in Long Island City Nolan said: "I oppose developing the site with the buildings currently proposed. Too large, too tall, too high of a floor area ratio."  Fallingwater requires your expertise, C.N.

State legislators notable for longevity or mummification include: 

* Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver: 38 years from 1977 to 2015

* Senator Ron Stafford: 37 years from 1965 to 2002

* Assemblyman Arthur Eve: 35 years from 1967 to 2002

* Senator John Marchi: 49 years from 1957 to 2006

* Assemblyman Herman D. Farrell, Jr.: 42 years from 1975 to 2017

* Senator Dean G. Skelos: 30 years from 1985 to 2015

* Assemblyman Vito J. Lopez: 28 years from 1985 to 2013

* Senator Ralph J. Marino: 26 years from 1969 to 1995

* Senator Tom Libous: 26 years from 1989 to 2015

* Assembly Speaker Saul Weprin: 23 years from 1971 to 1994

* Senator Owen Johnson: 40 years from 1972 to 2012

* Senator Joseph L. Bruno: 31 years from 1977 to 2008

The longest serving Member of the Assembly today is spring chicken 70-year-old Richard N. Gottfried. He entered office on January 1, 1971.  At 11:50 p.m. on that day the last televised cigarette advertisement is broadcast on The Tonight Show. The Time Man Of The Year for the January 4, 1971 issue is West German Chancellor Willy Brandt.  My Sweet Lord by George Harrison is No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100.  Love Story is the No. 1 film in which Roger Ebert described Ali MacGraw Disease as "the only symptom is that the patient grows more beautiful until finally dying."

Gottfried is an expert in canine dining habits. His quote from "Back Off, Health Nazis, And Let New York's Doggies Dine" in the New York Post on June 7, 2015 by Nicole Gelinas: 

"Some dogs are tall enough that all they would have to do is turn their heads and they would be eating off people's plates."

I am gravely concerned about how our state legislator geriatrics navigate escalators and elevators.  Each rides the escalator from the Empire State Plaza Concourse to the Capitol and the Capitol/LOB elevators.  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: "Incidents involving elevators and escalators kill about 30 and seriously injure about 17,000 each year."

I recommend the issuance of Life Alert and Danmar Soft Shell Helmet to our Members of the Assembly and Senate.  In the event of a head-splitting HELP! I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP! catastrophe.  Our representatives in Albany can also use these life-saving products in the shower given how that first step over the tub is fraught with peril. 

In 1986, at 25, John J. Flanagan is elected to the Assembly.  That year Governor Mario Cuomo defeated Westchester County Executive Andrew O'Rourke to win a second term.  O'Rourke carried a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Cuomo with him to call attention to Cuomo's refusal to debate.  A cardboard cut-out is perfectly capable of performing the responsibilities of our state legislators given their enfeeblement. 

In 2002 Flanagan is elected to the Senate. At 56 he is allegedly still in possession of his mental faculties.  

From "John Flanagan's Journey To NY Senate Majority Leader Marked By Unforeseen Turns" by Yancey Roy in Newsday on May 16, 2015: 

"Look, I was 25. I was engaged. I was going to law school.  Then, you know, in the blink of an eye you're 54 and you're here."

The explanation for your eternal presence in Albany is simplistic drivel, J.F.  I'll perform the math. Thirty years is 10,950 days.  That time-frame is not a blink of an eye. I blinked my eye and you're still punishing me in the capital. And ten years from today you will continue to depart the 
New York State Thruway at Exit 24 for The Axis Of Albany. 

Flanagan's institutionalization spans five governors since January, 1987: Mario Cuomo, George E. Pataki, Eliot Spitzer, David Paterson and Andrew Cuomo. He recites the oath of office for the fist time when ex-convicted felon Mel Miller succeeds Stanley Fink as Assembly Speaker. It marks the beginning of the final years in office for Senate Majority Leader Warren M. Anderson. Anderson's time in office: 1953 to 1989. 

Flanagan represents Stony Brook, Centereach and Lake Grove.  It is extremely distressing because I am a graduate of SUNY-Stony Brook and Centereach High School. My hometown is Lake Grove.  This super-lifer is empowered to drive up the New York State Thruway because of family, friends, acquaintances and neighbors. I required sedation via elephant gun after learning such a fact. 

The reign of Louis XIV in France is for 72 years and 111 days from May 14, 1643 to September 1, 1715. It is detailed in Love and Louis XIV: The Women in the Life of the Sun King by Antonia Fraser.  He is the exemplar of the divine right of kings which is distinct from the divine right of assemblymen and senators. Our 200+ state legislators must study The Sun King as he bankrupted and impoverished France by concentrating the machinery of the state in his own person. 

Freedom Lies In Being Bold -- Robert Frost